fictionpage 342 Friend's Mother?
342 Friend's Mother?
Before leaving Lao Mi, Xu Feng actually went to the Oscars.
As soon as I entered the gate of the Dolby Theater, I met acquaintances.
"Sir, long time no see."
"Your new movie seems to be good..."
"You saw that "Dune" too?"
"I saw it, but I fell asleep when I saw half of it."
After some conversation, Timothy Chalamet had black lines on his face.
I thought to myself that this master is still the same, and he would stab himself with a few words.
The movie "Dune" he starred in this year also received a lot of nominations.
Best visual effects, best soundtrack or whatever.
Well, I don't think it has anything to do with the actors, it's all about winning awards later.
If only because none of the actors in this movie were particularly good.
As for the plot... Anyway, Xu Feng watched it in a cloudy way, and didn't understand what these foreigners wanted to talk about.
He said that when he saw that he was half asleep, he was actually doing Timothy a face.
In fact, when he saw half of it, he stretched his hand into the slit of the girl next to him.
By the way, this time Xu Feng's partner on the red carpet is Savannah.
Played the CP of the kid Timothy in the movie "Dune".
He played for a while in the second half.
Since she played the role of Dumb Mao Wang, Xu Feng let her develop in Lao Lai's side.
Hmm... To be honest, Xu Feng didn't have much impression of Lao Mi's movies, he just remembered a few and asked her to audition.
After sitting down, Xu Feng started to play with his mobile phone, but before he opened his scarf to see that his precious fans had given him a new job today.
One after another, the crooked dicks came over to get close.
It felt like the people around him surpassed his elder brother.
Fuck, is labor and capital so popular in the beautiful country?
Xu Feng, a domestic star and first-line celebrity, can basically recognize it.
However, the old crooked is not necessarily the case, and he still doesn't know some frontlines.
Unless you have cooperated with yourself or had a negative distance relationship.
Or the kind that is particularly expressive in length.
Such as Jin Guyrui.
But right away, someone whom Xu Feng knew came——
Will Smith.
Xu Feng has always thought that black people all look alike, but this guy is really recognizable, and someone like Xu Feng who is blind to crooked nuts and faces can recognize him at a glance.
"Mr. Xu, hello, I'm Will Smith.
"Mr. Smith hello."
Looking at this, Xu Feng noticed his wife Jada Pinkett Smith standing beside him.
The Aunt is said to be having an affair with her son's classmate.
Holy crap, the two stinging apes are in ecstasy!
Xu Feng liked to watch this genre in his previous life.
If a wife has no children, it will lose half of her taste.
For example, when watching Conan Fanwen, Xu Ban likes to watch Concubine Eri and Yukiko the most.
Even if you don't accept Mori Ran and Haibara Ai, you must accept Kiko and Fei Eri!
Some authors also wrote that Mao Lilan and the drum washing machine were collected before they were born.
But Xu Feng felt that if that was the case, there would be no such taste.
emmm... But back to reality, I don't have any thoughts about that Aunt Xu Feng in front of me.
Unless you are under the age of a junior high school student, it is impossible to have that kind of thought about the mother of your classmate.
People get old, right?
Do you really think that married women like Yukiko Feiyingri with a high school baby really exist in reality?
"Sir, do you like Will Smith #々?"
Seeing that Xu Feng chatted with Will Smith a few more words, Timothy couldn't help asking.
"The Oscars are going to be interesting."
Xu Feng said with a wicked smile.
If he remembers correctly, Will Smith's slap on the host seems to be this session.
This slap in the previous life directly made Oscar, an award that received little attention in Longguo, completely out of the circle.
In addition, I also want to do things.
It can be said that this year's Oscars are full of elements.
Timothy "Gulu" swallowed.
Because he knew that whenever Xu Feng showed this expression, someone would be in trouble.
Sure enough, the awards ceremony was halfway through.
The host began to tease Jada, and Will Smith in the audience broke the defense and shouted:
"Don't use your stupid mouth to call my wife!"
For a while, the audience was silent, filled with an atmosphere called "embarrassment".
The camera scanned the faces of Timothy, Garfield, Big Brother Cheng and others one by one.
The expressions on everyone's faces were either shock or bewilderment.
Oh wait!
There is another person whose style of painting is wrong.
The cameraman found that Xu Feng was covering his mouth, trying not to laugh out loud.
Ahem, actually it's not that Xu Feng wants to laugh, the main reason is that he really doesn't understand these crooked brain circuits.
You slept with my wife? It's all right.
Are you kidding my wife? No!
Is this the so-called cultural difference between East and West?
Then, there is the classic scene of raising a bunch of B station UP in the previous life.
And the host who was slapped immediately rounded up the situation and said in a joking tone:
"Wow~ Will Smith slapped me."
"Even if you win an award, the limelight will be stolen.
Big Brother Cheng sighed.
Just like what Jin Guyrui said in his previous life.
Will Smith's behavior is unfair to other actors who attended the ceremony.
Because she would directly shift all the attention to him by doing so.
As for who wins the prize and who gets the success, no one cares.
"it's okay no problem."
Xu Feng waved his hand to indicate that it doesn't matter.
He didn't care about this award in the first place, and it wasn't because people in the country wanted him to give a sigh of relief for Longguo Films.
Otherwise Xu Feng would rather rush to the road show to get more ideas.
What's more, Xu Feng didn't feel that his limelight would be stolen.
He also kept a hand.
Now the Internet has exploded because of Will Smith's slap just now.
As the eldest brother Cheng said, no one cares who wins what award.
They only care about Will Smith's Eight Trigrams, and whether the host will sue him afterwards.
Doesn't this cost tens of millions of dollars?
Many Waiguo netizens said that if they can get so much money, let alone a slap, it will be no problem to break your hand!
Eh?
It feels like Xu Feng has seen this incident before in China. Wang Xiaocong beat someone, and it seems that he lost 2.09 million.
After hearing about this incident, countless domestic netizens asked for a call.
However, what is even more speechless is that the second time Uranus Xiaocong opened a live broadcast to talk about the process of this matter, and earned another 3 million.
Alas, it can only be said that this world is too magical.
Next, the Oscar for Best Foreign Language Film.
The fat version of Little Plum Leonardo stood on the stage and chattered.
Xu Feng, who was quite happy eating melons, suddenly darkened his face, as if he was about to hit someone in the next second.
This is not really a show.
Although he doesn't like to say the word "patriotism" like Wu Zhanlang.
But it is impossible to have a good impression of the ghost who deliberately discredits the rabbit.
Immediately, on the big screen, the faces of the directors shortlisted for the best foreign language film were captured by the camera and flashed across the live screen one by one.
Finally, Leonardo announced in a slightly awkward voice
"Hua...Mulan!"
In the far east, many sand sculpture netizens who were still standing in front of the screen in the wee hours of the morning raised their arms and shouted excitedly when they heard what Leonardo yelled.
This is honor for the country!
According to common sense, Xu Feng should come to the stage with a smile on his face at this time, and then talk about thanking this, thanking that, and other stereotyped acceptance speeches.
However, after several seconds, Xu Feng did not move.
The camera had to switch from the podium to Xu Feng.
At this moment, he was crossing his legs, looking at the stage with a disgusted expression on his face.
To be precise, looking at Leonardo.
The thunderous applause gradually subsided, and everyone realized that something was wrong.
The hearts of many guests were beating violently.
He couldn't help but glance over Will Smith and Xu Feng.
Damn, there is more than one co-author who wants to make big news!?
"`"Are you disgusting me on purpose?"
Xu Feng continued to sit on the chair as if he had taken root in his buttocks, raised his eyebrows and asked Da Chao, who was sitting in the back and had two cooperation experiences.
At this time, Da Chao also remembered some inappropriate remarks made by Leonardo against Longguo on Twitter some time ago.
With a wry smile:
"Sir, I think this is a misunderstanding, because many media call you 'Leonardo of the Dragon Kingdom', so let him present you the award?"
Xu Feng looked even more disgusted, "Then these bird people are not only disgusting me, but insulting me. 17"
But at this moment, the organizer who reached out to the backstage had already exploded.
Just now, Will Smith's magical operation has stunned them, and they finally decided to bite the bullet and finish the awards ceremony before they were entangled.
As for what to do with Will Smith afterwards, let's talk about it after the end.
I didn't expect how long this has passed, and another f*cking man came to play tricks.
Two unexpected incidents made this year's Oscars completely messed up.
If it is not dealt with quickly, the most authoritative film awards festival in the world will lose face.
For a while, several staff members came forward to persuade Xu Feng to come to the stage to receive the award as soon as possible.
But Xu Feng was not moved at all, Erlang switched legs and continued to cross.
The eyes are so dark (Zhao Lehao) staring at Leonardo quietly, looking at this fat global school girl whose scalp is numb.
How could he have thought that for the sake of political correctness, Heilongguo would still provoke this master.
"Quickly cut the live broadcast!"
At this time, the organizer also knew that the trouble could not continue like this.
The live broadcast room for global relaxation immediately went dark.
The audience in the live broadcast room did not decrease but increased.
More and more people poured in.
Even many rabbits have to watch when they climb over the wall.
After all, in less than five minutes, this matter has already reached the seventh place in the most searched bib.
There is also a striking "explosion" after the title.
*****
"Xu FengTMD is my idol forever!"
In Longguo, many straight male viewers who had been watching the live broadcast from the beginning and knew the whole process of the incident shouted in front of the screen.
Nearly ten minutes passed before the live broadcast screen resumed.
The original Leonardo on the stage was nowhere to be found, and the one presenting the award to Xu Feng was a truck driver who was one of Hollywood's leading directors.
This time Xu Feng finally came to the stage to accept the award, but he was too lazy to give his acceptance speech, and he didn't even give the old man much face.
Just nodded and stepped down.
Well, let these foreigners in Taiwan have a long memory.
The entertainment circle, the entertainment circle, you fucking are here to entertain the public.
To put it bluntly, because the family is all low-level actors.
It's okay, don't show off your cultural level without graduating from elementary school.
Also talk about Zheng Zhi, what a bunch of idiots. .